Mentorship/Wise Friends Guidelines & Resources

The Recovery Dharma YYC Practice Committee, along with long standing members of the sangha, have developed some guidelines that may be useful to reference during the mentoring/wise friend process. 

ETIQUETTE:

  • It is helpful but not necessary to get together for coffee the first time you meet. This is a good way to get to know each other and begin to see if this will be the right fit.  
  • Come up with a general timeline together (meetings, meditations, emails with instructions, etc). 
  • Explain generally what each e-mail will consist of. 
  • Start a meditation practice right away with a text check-in. 
  • If it feels right, have them do a voicemail check-in each night. 
  • This is their journey, slow down, speed up, add things in that will support them where they are at. 
  • You should not feel like you are doing more work than they are. 
  • Set clear boundaries (eg: no middle of the night calls, I am not a counsellor, etc.) 
  • Set clear expectations (eg: commit to the work on the timeline agreed upon, daily mediation practice, etc.) 
  • Everyone is different and will have a different mentoring style. Knowing your own and the other options helps to assess who the best match may be. 
  • Keep it focused on the practice and recovery. 
  • Encourage outside support and therapy. 
  • Insight Timer is a great, free mediation app.  
  • They are responsible for their own relationships with Sangha members. As a mentor we do not get involved unless the health and safety of the group is being affected. 
  • Ensure there is a serious attempt at abstinence from all substances and that they are actively working on  identified process addictions.  

EXAMPLE WEEKLY MENTORSHIP PROGRAM:

MENTORSHIP MEDITATION RESOURCES:

Stage 1 The First Foundation of Mindfulness (Breath and Body): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl1U9uYEac

https://insig.ht/1XlQbwp780

Podcasts: 

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/first-foundation-mindfulness

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-four-foundations-of-mindfulness

Articles: 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/the-four-foundations-of-mindfulness-2/amp/

https://www.learnreligions.com/the-four-foundations-of-mindfulness-450066

https://oneminddharma.com/four-foundations-mindfulness/

Stage 2 The Second Foundation of Mindfulness (Feeling Tone): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HTVXgB6CzwQ

https://insig.ht/LMrSOeWMo1

Podcasts

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rmtcEamJzxM

https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/the-second-foundation-of-mindfulness-feelings/

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-feeling (talk and sit) 

Articles

https://imhouston.wordpress.com/dharma-talks/ginger-clarkson/2015-2/second-foundation-of-mindfulness/

Stage 3 The Third Foundation of Mindfulness (Mind):  

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LMGNaHjkfAU

https://insig.ht/MMrZiDE880

Podcasts: 

https://www.rickhanson.net/third-foundation-mindfulness/

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-mental-states (talk and sit) 

Articles: 

http://bozemaninsightcommunity.com/third-foundation-of-mindfulness-mindfulness-of-consciousnessmind/

Stage 4 The Fourth Foundation of Mindfulness (Truth or Phenomena): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvjk6BQ-nwY

https://insig.ht/Rn3Lij7Ko1

https://www.worldwideinsight.org/stephen-fulder-28-10-2018/ (meditation starts 4mins in) 

Podcasts: 

https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/153/talk/31109/

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-phenomena (talk and sit) 

Articles: 

https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/the-fourth-foundation-of-mindfulness-2/

Stage 5 Loving Kindness (Metta): 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/Ro75nAgLo1

https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditation-loving-kindness/

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UsiDeq_sA

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=02sXBi0Sp7A (the divine abodes) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Br3yxCs623U

Articles: 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/how-to-do-metta-january-2014/amp/

https://oneminddharma.com/brahma-viharas/ (the 4 heart practices) 

Stage 6 Compassion (Karuna): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mYk-MldGDWA (self compassion) 

https://insig.ht/KZ9tSNlMo1

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MaQCUPLpIGw

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JWcwia-B7V8

https://www.tarabrach.com/cultivating-compassion-audio/

Articles: 

https://jackkornfield.com/self-compassion/

https://jackkornfield.com/cultivating-compassion/

Stage 7 Appreciative Joy (Mudita): 

Meditations

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmAwqDz784

https://insig.ht/PksXyS5Mo1

Podcasts: 

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/sympathetic-joy-mudita

http://sfzc.org/mudita

Articles: 

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/various/wheel170.html

Stage 8 Equanimity (Upekkha):  

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2i_BU-PAVZs

https://insig.ht/NcSU1lMNo1

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uhba13cEOMY (the 4 heart practices to yourself) 

Podcasts

https://www.tarabrach.com/equanimity-duck-meditation/

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/power-equanimity

Articles

https://tricycle.org/magazine/perfect-balance/

Stage 9 Wise Understanding and the Hindrances: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/KRxLzvsPo1

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000424531458 (first fold) 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000445984579 (the hindrances) 

Articles: 

https://www.learnreligions.com/working-with-the-five-hindrances-449924

https://ottawamindfulnessclinic.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/fivehindrances.pdf (excellent handout to refer back to) 

Stage 10 Wise Intention and Forgiveness: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/jrDwOBlPo1

https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-guided-heart-forgiveness/

https://insig.ht/qmycjpRPo1

Podcasts

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000425304502 (2nd fold) 

https://www.tarabrach.com/forgiveness-releasing-blame-pt1/

Articles: 

https://jackkornfield.com/the-practice-of-forgiveness/

Stage 11 Wise Speech and gratitude: 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_g18YA2EjWQ

https://insig.ht/YO8UItYPo1

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000426002010 (3rd fold) 

https://www.tarabrach.com/feeling-gratitude-giving-love/

Articles:  

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/gratitude-daily-life

Stage 12 Wise Action and Addiction: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/EoMx0LESo1 (contemplations of morality by Josh Korda) 

https://insig.ht/PxTz5sWSo1

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000426692504 (4th fold) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eKn4IGY8OH8 (hungry ghosts) 

https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/addressing-the-underlying-causes-of-addiction-josh-korda-with-dr-stephen-dansiger/ (underlying causes of addiction) 

Articles: 

https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/what-feels-right-about-right-action/

Stage 13 Wise Livelihood and Shame: 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wm1t5FyK5Ek (RAIN meditation) 

https://insig.ht/AIWqGUtRo1 (Sarah Blondin) 

https://insig.ht/u7JqFnzRo1 (self compassion) 

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxfmarLIBo0 (RAIN of self compassion) 

https://insig.ht/OnvuJnpRo1 (healing core shame by Josh Korda) 

Articles: 

https://oneminddharma.com/livelihood/ (right livelihood) 

https://www.tarabrach.com/articles-interviews/inquiring-trance/

Stage 14 Wise Effort and Letting Go: 

Meditations: 

https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-letting-go-letting-be/

https://insig.ht/SBMHk5pQo1

Podcasts 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000427423687 (6th fold) 

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/letting-go

Articles

https://www.learnreligions.com/letting-it-go-4000630

Stage 15 Wise Mindfulness and The 4 Great Efforts: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/U2rUzvwTo1 (Vipassana) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WW6j5ZvuWx8

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000428822317 (7th fold) 

https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/836/talk/52097/ (4 great efforts) 

Articles: 

https://www.imsb.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/FourRightEfforts.pdf (Great handout) 

Stage 16 Wise Concentration and Anxiety: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/SNafGYpTo1 (old school concentration meditation Josh Korda) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMxkoawmrE

https://insig.ht/pybbq4EVo1 (Heal anxiety) 

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000429892105 (8th fold)  

https://www.tarabrach.com/part-1-healing-anxiety-how-meditation-frees-us/

Articles: 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-athletes-way/201306/how-does-meditation-reduce-anxiety-neural-level%3famp

Stage 17 Sangha: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/70Xuj1AUo1 (grounding)  

https://insig.ht/t1LUl2WUo1 (Compassion with equanimity) 

Podcasts: 

https://www.tarabrach.com/survival-nurtured/ (one of my favourites) 

https://insig.ht/UOVYtC3Uo1 (talk and sit Josh Korda) 

https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/the-dharma-of-attachment-theory-1-mindfulness-and-reparenting-oneself/ (attachment theory) 

Articles: 

https://jackkornfield.com/finding-refuge/ (2 parts) 

Stage 18 Recovery is Possible: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/7UMrTHmUo1 (Sarah Blondin)  

https://insig.ht/PxTz5sWSo1 (how to transform and hard situation) 

https://insig.ht/7h88bsXVo1 (negative self talk) 

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8c1ex_eWs (real but not true) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J8PQjfgU8s4 (the sacred Pause) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kxXujwNSnYg (impermanence) 

Articles: 

http://www.whiterobedmonks.org/mstages.html (stages of monastic life)