Offer your support to those on their own path of recovery. Peer connections and support are important to recovery.
Wise Friends Suggested Guidelines
The Recovery Dharma YYC Practice Committee, along with long standing members of the sangha, have developed some guidelines that may be useful to reference while connecting with wise friends.
- It is helpful but not necessary to get together for coffee/tea the first time you meet. This is a good way to get to know each other and begin to see if this will be the right fit.
- Come up with a general timeline together (meetings, meditations, emails with instructions, etc).
- Explain generally what each e-mail will consist of.
- Start a meditation practice right away with a text check-in.
- If it feels right, have them do a voicemail check-in each night.
- This is their journey, slow down, speed up, add things in that will support them where they are at.
- You should not feel like you are doing more work than they are.
- Set clear boundaries (eg: no middle of the night calls, I am not a counsellor, etc.)
- Set clear expectations (eg: commit to the work on the timeline agreed upon, daily mediation practice, etc.)
- Everyone is different and will have a different mentoring style. Knowing your own and the other options helps to assess who the best match may be.
- Keep it focused on the practice and recovery.
- Encourage outside support and therapy.
- Insight Timer is a great, free mediation app.
- They are responsible for their own relationships with Sangha members. As a wise friend we do not get involved unless the health and safety of the group is being affected.
- Ensure there is a serious attempt at abstinence from all substances and that they are actively working on identified process addictions.